Hemp. Food! Good!

Written by Eric

As a suffering college student with a minimal income, it's hard to find the time and money for excessive indulgence in the milk and cereal market. Admittedly, I was first drawn to Hemp Plus for its hippy novelty. Languidly perusing the aisles at Trader Joe's, my drug-addled brain snapped to attention when it saw a word related to the substance it was currently high on, and since the product was fairly cheap, and looked nutritious to boot, I figured I should give it a try.



I expected something bland, grainy, forgettable. Luckily, I was wrong. Hemp Plus is a delicious cereal, from the first bite. It's earthy, as I presumed, with a melange of oats, rice flour, flaxseeds, and hemp seeds. But it contains just the right amount of sweetness, via evaporated cane juice and organic molasses, to brighten the experience and resonate well on the palate. The aftertaste is hearty, and mildly sweet, like a fine granola bar.

Of course, it's important to note that this cereal is also damn good for you. Each half-cup contains 600mg of Omega-3 fatty acids, and 1800mg of Omega-6's. Good for the heart. And the soul. Maybe even the penis, who knows.

Hemp Plus is very similar in flavor and ingredients to most other granola-based health-conscious cereals, of which Kellogs SmartStart is probably the most recognized name. SmartStart is a fine cereal, with a stronger flavor, and some extra vitamins thrown in. But Hemp Plus's use of organic ingredients, cane sugar (as opposed to corn syrup), and, of course, HEMP, give it an earthy edge that just tastes and feels right. And the hemp seeds aren't just for style; they're actually extremely nutritious. Wikipedia tells us that "The proportions of linoleic acid and Alpha-linolenic acid in hempseed oil are perfectly balanced to meet human requirements for EFAs, including gamma-linoleic acid (GLA)... Hemp seed also contains 20% complete and highly-digestible protein, 1/3 as edestin protein and 2/3 as albumins. Its high quality Amino Acid composition is closer to "complete" sources of proteins (meat, milk, eggs) than all other oil seeds except soy."

If you aren't fond of the drugged-out hippy culture, you might be put off from trying foods which proudly proclaim hemp seed as a main ingredient. But please, even if you fall into this pointlessly narrow-minded set of humans, take my advice and give Hemp Plus a try. It's great for you, and the flavor is mild but delectable. Straight out of the box it makes a pleasant, addictive snack, and mixed with whole milk (don't drink reduced fat milk, it's a bunch of flavorless drivel) it's a perfect way to start your day.

Honesty : Delicious Tea

Written by Snackblog



I've known quite a few people who just can't drink tea out of a bottle. It's not an ethical thing, like drinking blood out of babies, or drinking babies out of, bigger babies. They just don't do it. With all the Snapple's and Lipton's out on the market, one could blindly buy bottled teas and always end up with a bottle of awful in their hand. After numerous traumatic drinks, it's simply a matter of association.

To those that have been afflicted with this bottle tea phobia, please, work on it, work it out, pull through. I promise there is something better.




Notes on Honest Tea:

- All of the fruit sweetened teas actually still taste like tea
- All of the teas taste very clean, and don't taste awful
- Better than drinking Liquid Awful

Notes on Snapple/Lipton:

- All of the fruit sweetened teas contain less than 2% of tea
- All of the teas taste like bagged tea where you left the bag in for too long, like a couple days, outside, and so now it's mostly rainwater
- Less than or equal to Liquid Awful

My personal favorite is the Mango White Tea, which is one of the sweeter teas in the line. Their Pearfect White Tea was elected as BevNet.com's RTD Tea of the Year, and I do nod my head in approval.




To be honest (heh) I have not tried their full line yet, but I definitely intend to. Every drink I have tried from the Honest Tea company, so far, has been nothing less than exceptional.

Expect more reviews about this fine company.

Where to find Honest Tea:
- Whole Foods
- Try smaller, more high end groceries, especially ones that stock a lot of organic food.
- Cool cafes
- The internet

Madvillain - All Caps

We aren't the quickest blog, but we love you.

First of all, sorry for the vast lack of updates. The staff has been going through some starting troubles. They're lazy, basically. I'm planning to start updating more often on my own, just putting small reviews here and there, just to keep things going. By the way, if anyone wants to add a review, you are more than welcome to.

Just send them to the SnackBlog email: BlogSnack@gmail.com

For now, I'll say that whatever you send me, I'll put up on this very blog. Yes. Wow. Isn't that amazing? I can't say in what way I will publish it on the blog, but shoot anyway.

Annie's, Revisited

Written by Alex

Once upon a time, there was a self-declared snack elitist who proclaimed Annie's Mac and Cheese to be the best mac and cheese, ever. He coined a catchphrase for the occasion -- the "Annie's Trinity". But we who live in the real world recognize Snackblog's cheap macaroni iconography for what it is.

His Snack Majesty and his orgo-eating sheep got it wrong. If there's one thing you can't be elitist about, it's mac and cheese. Every real kid knows only one mac reigns supreme, and it's manifest in the name: The Cheesiest.

Kraft is the original, the cheesiest, the best. A child's innocence is to be valued, to be cherished. Kids give it to you straight. I gave a panel of four-year-olds a blind taste test, and you know what they said about Annie's?

They said it was sh*t. There's no getting around it. Straight up, they told me it was poop!





They were right.

#1: The Cheese. Snackblog called them "cheese explosions." More like earthen goo globs. You can always count on Kraft to be smooth and delicious. I've heard some complain about the color. It's orange. So what! So is cheddar. It doesn't taste like cheddar? Who cares, it tastes like buttery goodness.

#2: The shells. I don't like how the shells suction together like some sort of arthropod appendage.

Real kids love Kraft mac and cheese. These kids with the Annie's? These are the kids whose parents don't believe in TV and soda. Their parents are the hypocritical motherf*ckers that bring canvas bags to Trader Joes to put their thrice-plasti-packaged pre-cut produce in. The families with their matching, monogrammed Land's End jackets. Sitting down to have some Annie's. They probably made your mother feel like less of a parent at some PTA meeting. She doesn't deserve that. They claim their all-natural macaroni is far superior -- forgetting that it is still...just...mac and cheese.

I haven't looked at the nutritional facts, but I bet you anything Kraft is not significantly more unhealthy than any other. I know for a fact it has more calcium! Annie's wannabe earth-savvy assclowns exist in a delusional realm. Annie is over on her farm in Connecticut, and you know who's running the show? A bunny. The bunny is in charge of PR. Look at the comments on the Annie's post.

And then there's the other audience. The college student, who touts his sophistication, all the while still desiring the unrefined snack indulgences of his youth. He tries to justify his lapse with words like 'natural' and 'organic', as if that somehow makes it more advanced.

Despite everything, I would still gladly eat a bowl of Annie's were it in front of me. But for half the price, I'm going to stick with the original.


Home of the free, the brave, the Cheesiest.


Where to find this:
America.


Boards of Canada - Oscar See Through Red Eye

The Black Cherry Gamble

Written by Snackblog

Generally, when I think of a black cherry soda, bile starts to build up in the back of my throat -- a sort of Pavlov’s Dog’s reaction to the overly saccharine and syrupy taste that’s in nearly every black cherry beverage. I don’t understand why this should occurs. Isn’t there someone at the soda design labs who decides on whether a soda is disgustingly sweet, or not? It shouldn’t really take much skill to realize when things are terrible. If someone’s hand were on fire, that person would probably say something like, “Wow, my hand is on fire. This hurts.” Likewise, when someone gets bitten by a snake, they would probably say something like, “Man, I just got bit by a snake. How unpleasant.” So I don’t understand why there isn’t at least one normal, minimum-wage employee who will grade each soda flavor as: A. satisfactory, or B. Idiots, why did you add this much sweetener?

So, now that you understand my view of the average black cherry soda, you must realize how big of a gamble it was for me to grab Boylan's Natural Black Cherry Soda off of the aisle. There was a Steaz Orange waiting for me, positioned at the perfect level for me to comfortably grab, it’s vivid orange reminding me of the clean, fruity flavor contained within it. And then to the right of it, there was a Hansen’s Signature Sarsaparilla Soda. It was curiously distanced away from the other beverages, as if it purposely stood out to say, “Drink me! You loved my Orange Cream brethren, and I can assure you that you will love me the same!” But no, instead, I decided to get my snack on in a very reckless fashion this afternoon, and I grabbed this black cherry beverage.


I must say that it was a risk definitely worth taking. This is the kind of soda that one will want whether thirsty or not. Upon drinking it, I just wanted to keep on sipping it, and sipping it, not out of any physical desire for sustenance, but just for it’s amazing flavor. Right when it hits your mouth, you get that traditional black cherry soda flavor, but much more natural tasting and pleasant. After the initial contact, you begin to taste the vanilla that makes the flavor even richer. And upon swallowing, the taste almost reminds me of a cherry cola, with a definitely sweet, but still very clean aftertaste. Although the cherry flavor dominates, when I am leisurely sipping the drink, not paying too much attention to the flavor, it almost tastes like a sweet fruit cola. I do not think that this is a bad trait, as it adds complexity and an original character to a soda flavor that is usually simplistic and bland.

This soda is easily within my top 5, and after I try a few more black cherry sodas, I just might give this the title of, “The Best Cherry Soda”. It’s a very good candidate for the title at this point, and I think Boylan Bottling Company should be very proud of their creation.

Also, when trying to find this soda, please remember that this is Boylan’s Natural Black Cherry Soda. The ingredients list of Boylan’s Natural line and their normal Bottleworks line differ quite considerably, and although I have not done a side-by-side comparison, I’m willing to bet that the Natural line tastes considerably better.

Reckless.


Where to find this beverage:
- Trader Joe's or other nice grocery stores
- Cosco


Amon Tobin - Get Your Snack On

The Best Gummy Bears

Written by Snackblog

Gummy bears are a snack often looked down upon by other snack elitists, considering them to just be a colorful gimmick, not worthy of any sort of respect. Even snack elitists who I greatly respect will not give certain companies a second chance, and aren't even willing to find a company that might reach their high standards. I had a recent conversation with Alexander Gliston, a very well respected snack elitist in the snack-scene, and even he stated:

"Many SE's don't take gummy bears seriously due to their connection to small screaming children and low-end ice cream palors. I personally try to see past things like these, for objectivity's sake. But still, gummy bears consistently manage to have issues in taste. I think the only serious snack lovers that actually like gummy bears have a weird color and taste synesthesia. "

Later in our conversation, I found that the, "consistent . . . issues in taste" That Dr. Gliston was referring to was about the fact that green gummy bears always happen to taste downright awful. Every other color could be outstanding, but then you pop that little green bear in your mouth, and it just tastes so nauseatingly artificial. I asked Dr. Gliston about his specific critique on the average green gummy bear, and it went something like this:

Snackblog: So, what exactly do you not like about the green ones?

Alexander Gliston: That's a stupid question. You know they're terrible. You know I know they're terrible. Don't ask me stupid questions.

Snackblog: I'm sorry, I just wanted to hear your dislikes about the green bears in full detail. I find always find your critiques to be incredibly eye-opening and intellectual.

Alexander Gliston: They taste like pool chlorine.

Snackblog: Well, that sounds a little exaggerated.

Alexander Gliston: I didn't get a doctorate in Snack Elitism to be back-talked by some no name, worthless, Hostess grade, faux-SE blog-talker. They taste like pool chlorine. I've tasted many different types of pool chlorine, and many different types of green gummy bears. They taste the same.

Snackblog: Pool chlorine in particular? Not just normal chlorine?

Alexander Gliston: Yes, pool chlorine, peasant.

Yes, it was quite embarrassing to be berated by the great Dr. Gliston. But, it made me into a better man. For some reason, I felt a burning desire that I, Snackblog, must prove the man wrong. I asked some friends for help, and one of them, Alexis, in particular, told me about Harmony gummy bears. So, I went to a grocery, picked up some of the Harmony Gummy Bears, and went at it. The first few bears I ate were very nice. Mildly sweet, pleasant, and very natural tasting compared to other gummy candies. But once I got to the yellows and greens, everything changed. Those two colors had a oddly artificial/chemical taste in their tartness. It was like playing Russian Snack Roulette, but with two bullets instead of one. Disgusted, I had to set the snack down, and instead I pondered on what other company I should move towards.

I remembered. I remembered a certain time when my older sister had come back from a trip in Germany, and she brought back a certain type of delicious, wonderful gummy bear. I promptly googled "German gummy bears", and the second link down sent me to the wonderful world of Haribo. I promptly picked up some Haribo Gold Bears from a grocery, and I quickly started chewing on the bears. Ugh... something was disgustingly different from the last time I remembered eating these. Each bear seemed to have a little bit of that chemical tartness that I so despise. The disappointment broke me. I completely gave up hope in trying to find a bear that would sate my desire for a good, natural tasting gummy.

A week later, one of my friends came over, just to see how things were going. He was eating some candy out of a small golden colored box, and he asked if I wanted the rest. I accepted the box, and was extremely surprised that they turned out to be the same Haribo Gold Bears that I had come to hate! I was disgusted, and wanted to look so, but I hid those feelings away for the sake of good manners. I reached into the box, grabbed a couple bears, and put them in my mouth.



They were absolutely amazing. They had a sweet, tart, but very naturally fruity taste that made me ecstatic to try every other flavor. The reds, the yellows, the oranges, and even the whites were incredible. And then I got to the greens, and they were, wow, just as good as the other flavors! Every flavor was utterly palatable, and very enjoyable. All even had a distinct taste, so I never got bored of the box. I just kept on chewing, and chewing, until the box was all but empty. Curious, I grabbed the old pack of Gold-Bears from before, that I still had not finished, and I did a side-by-side taste comparison. Yup, the old pack still had the artificially tart taste, while, on the other hand, the ones from the box were still incredibly amazing. I did a visual check on the bears, and they were all the same. I checked the ingredients list, and they were still all the same. Then I checked where each one was made, and I found that the bad Gold-Bears in the normal plastic bag were made in Hungary, while the ones in the box were made in Spain.

It's been about three years since this discovery, and I have repeated the tests over again many times, and the same results occur: the Gold-Bears made in Hungary are vastly inferior to the ones of Spanish (factory) descent. In the US, I have found that the Gold-Bears in the common five ounce plastic bags are always from the Hungarian factory. The smaller bags, to which I'm unsure on in exact weight, are usually made in Spain, along with the Gold-Bears in the box packaging, similar in packaging to candy you'd buy at a movie theater. Also, the Mini Gold-Bears are made in Spain, and are just as delicious as their larger counterparts.

I'm planning to send a letter over to Alexander Nicole Gliston, showing him that he has been proven wrong by my delicious discovery. Yes, I've found out that Nicole is his middle name, and I plan to bring it up the next time we meet. I also plan to order a 5 pound pack of Gold-Bears so I can bludgeon him to death.


You can find (Spanish factory) Haribo Gold-Bears at:
- Cost Plus World Market sells the Mini Haribo Gold-Bears from time to time.
- Some 7-11's have the theater packs.


Jackon and his Computer Band - Utopia

The Best Macaroni and Cheese

Written by Snackblog

Before I get around to unveiling the best macaroni and cheese, I need to talk about something very important, and it's not just important to me, but to all of you too. All of you reading this very blog. So, a couple of people at most.


Fork.
A short, unfinished story by Eric Hesson (not me)

When I was in Prague last June, I was kidnapped by the local militia and forced into slavery for eight weeks. Every day, twice a day, we were fed the same meal: the bloody uncooked fragments of leftover animal parts not eaten by the guards. They were covered in filth, having sat idly on the insect-ridden ground for hours, and most of them contained all sorts of bacterious diseases. I thought I would never encounter any edible item more grotesque and detestable than that. I was wrong...




Ok, say you had this alien, whose feces happened to be macaroni shaped, and you collect a bowl of it. And then you take those feces, and put them into a cannon of sorts. And then you take some kid with sh** for brains whose body fluid is all disgustingly yellow like that creepy guy in Sin City. Oh, I mean sh** for brains in a very literal sense. The omni-yellow stinky kid has yellow sh**, sitting, in, his, skull.

So, you've got the cannon stuffed with macaroni shaped feces at point A, and at point B, you've got the yellow kid. Then, the cannon is fired from point A, sending the feces projectile towards point B (it's going really, really fast), right into the yellow kid's sh** filled skull. The macaroni shaped feces don't have enough momentum to carry out the back of the skull, so instead they slosh around with the yellow sh**.





Anyway, the best macaroni and cheese is Annie's Shells and Cheddar, Shells and White Cheddar, and Mild Mexican Shells and Cheddar. All of them. They are all delicious, especially the Mild Mexican Shells and Cheddar, which actually has a decent amount of spiciness, especially for a "mild". But, not everyone likes spicy food, so I'm just giving all three the award, and I'll be calling them the Annie's Trinity from now on. A three in one kind of deal, so this one title can apply to all of them, but they're really three different entities.


The key factor in Annie's winning this, is that the Annie's brand of mac and cheese actually tastes like real cheese. It's amazing, and delicious. The real cheese along with the shells is incredible. Because, the shell-like shape of the pasta causes the cheese to clump up within the pasta, causing tiny, incredible cheese explosions in your mouth with every chew. Yes, I know these shells aren't technically macaroni, but I don't care. This stuff is delicious, and it's the best macaroni, ever. Just make sure to cook it with a good amount of butter, and please use milk, not watery water. Soy milk works well too.


Where you can find the Annie's Trinity:
- Almost anywhere. They're even at my local Longs Drugs.
- The Mild Mexican Shells and Cheddar are much harder to find than the other two. Try smaller groceries that tend to stock a lot of organic items.


TV on the Radio - Blues From Down Here

The Best Grape Soda

Written by Snackblog

We all know this flavor. It's purple, it's sweet, and it doesn't taste anything like actual grapes, but we all love it regardless.

Except me -- I'm better than that.

I've been trying out grape sodas for... awhile, and for the title of "The Best Grape Soda" there are actually a few contenders: Fizzy Lizzy Concord Grape Soda, Steaz Grape Soda, and Santa Cruz Organic Concord Grape Soda.

The Fizzy Lizzy tastes the most like actual grapes. It is the least sweet out of the three and has a grape flavor that almost tastes like wine. It has a very complex, very realistic taste, even having a slightly bitter flavor associated with the peel of a grape. Although I do love real fruit, and I really love sodas that actually taste like them, I have a couple problems with this drink. First of all, the Fizzy Lizzy barely qualifies as a soda. It has hardly any carbonation in it, definitely not enough for the nice tingle that I expect out of a good soda. Secondly, this soda tastes way too much like real grapes, but maybe even less sweet. I really think that describing its flavor as a very mild red wine (minus the alcohol), is pretty damn accurate. If I want to taste grapes, I'll eat some grapes. If I want wine, I'll steal it out of my roommate's cabinet. When I want soda, I want candy in a liquid state.

Now onto the Santa Cruz Organic Concord Grape, because this is really easy to describe. Get a normal can of grape soda, replace the nasty corn-syrup stuff with organic cane sugar for a cleaner flavor, and add in a little taste of actual grapes. Tastes great, but it's not anything amazing. If you want the classic non-grape taste of a grape soda, but better and more grape tasting, then try this one out.

So, two sodas down, which only leaves one for the crown.
Brrrpbrrrrpbrrrrbrrrbrrrp... (a sound of a horn playing something majestic).

Glorious. Behold the Steez Grape Soda. Everything from the sweetness down to the carbonation is perfect, and its balance between a realistic grape flavor and a "grape" candy is amazing. I don't know how the people at Steaz did it. You drink it, and it's unmistakably grape, but so much... so, utterly better. I bet there was just this one day, where the owner of Steaz Soda got really pissed at god/God/the gods, maybe because his/her game of golf got rained on, or something. Or, maybe it was because his/her puppy died, or a kitten maybe? Or, maybe it was because he/she had to give up all his/her bone marrow in his/her lower body, thus paralyzing him/her and ending his/her prolific but short lived dance career, in order to save his/her true love who had some terrible, rare disease, but then the transplant failed anyway and she/he died.

But regardless, he/she (probably) pointed at the sky and challenged god/God/the gods, outright. He/she challenged god/God/the gods to make something that would taste better than his/her/their original creation. And by god/God/the gods, it does taste better than an actual grape. Man, I don't know how Steaz does this, but all their sodas have the cleanest aftertaste, ever. Right after you swallow, there are no weird, clingy, syrupy tastes at all. There is just a slightly sweet, green tea aftertaste that you can barely notice.

Oh, and it's organic too, thank god/God/the gods.



You can find these sodas at:
- I've mostly seen these at places that stock a lot of organic items, like Whole Foods (I don't think that Trader Joe's has these, but I'm not dead sure).


Gang Starr - You Know My Steez

The Best Root Beer

Written by Snackblog

One thing I failed to mention in my "What is SnackBlog?" article, is that this is going to be a review site. Yea, that's what I have planned. I managed to skip over that for some reason. To start is all off, I'm planning to list off the best snacks I've ever had, and in order to convince you, I want to start this list off with an indisputable truth:

This is the best root beer. That's it. It's the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of the root beer world. Henry Weinhard’s isn't rooty enough, Dad's Root Beer is just a better Mug/A&W, IBC tastes like water, and every other rootbeer you can name falls short before the glory of Virigil's Root Beer. It has the ultimate sweet, creamy, and full bodied taste, but avoids the syrupy aftertaste that would normally accompany a drink this sweet and full tasting. The rootiness of the drink is also very pleasant and accessible, but not as sharp as other types of root beer I’ve had, such as the very enjoyable Buckin Rootbeer, with its sharp, almost medicinal taste. But I am not saying that the rootiness of Virgil’s is weak, as it has rooty taste that is strong enough to stay at the forefront of the overall flavor, from the initial swig down to the sweet aftertaste.

What is surprising is that Virgil uses anise and licorice as the foundation of its rootiness instead of the standard sarsaparilla flavor, giving it a pleasant taste similar to black licorice. However, its taste is still easily classifiable as a root beer. Please, do not just call it a simple “root beer” though; this stuff is The Ultimate Root Beer. Address it as so, or just live in the shadow of your beverage ignorance.

Anyway, speaking of root beer, it's time to go into to some Snack History. A&W Root Beer tastes terrible for a reason. We'll start at the name, A-&-W. It's not a combination of names. It's not a famous intersection of roads. It’s just a typo. Yea, really, it’s just a typo. It was supposed to be called AUW. As you can see, when holding the shift to type in caps, it can be easy to hit the 7/& above the U, resulting in the A&W you see now. It was going to be called AUW, because after people would drink this horse piss they would say something along the lines of:

"AUW, WTF IS THIS?"

AUW was initially made as a drink to send over to France during the World’s Fair in Paris (1844), and was equivalent to a grade school practical joke. But, with the fatal typo, people didn't see the humor and actually started liking it.

Ugh, how atrocious.


Where to find Virgil's:
- At any grocery store that's a little more classy than your average large chain grocery.
- Trader Joe's
- Whole Foods Market

Bonobo - Transmission 94 (parts 1 and 2)

What is SnackBlog?

Written by Snackblog

I know what it is, mainly because it is my brainchild. Mine. No shared custody baloney. This site is under my jurisdiction, judgement, and foot -- its basically going to be the best site (about snack), ever.

So, there it is. That's SnackBlog. A more perplexing question would be, "What content will SnackBlog have?" Yea, umm. I don't know, ever.

I'm hoping that its going to be an internet safe-haven for my unbridled love of snacks and all the elitism that somehow goes with it. Yes, I am a snack elitist. That is my title. You wouldn't call Eugene Anderson a, "Mr. Anderson", He's, "Dr. Anderson." If you fail to, he would probably stab you with his Mercedes key. I am a Snack Elitist. And if you fail to call me so in public, or private, I will probably laugh at your undistinguished can of crap you might call, "a soda" and indignantly sip on my refreshing Steaz organic green tea carbonated beverage. Oh, like a fruity mountain spring it is, with a light tea aftertaste, too.

I think Coca-Cola and Pepsi are as filthy as toilet water, and Doritos taste like the floor tiles of a bad Mexi-Resturant. I have a high taste, and a sharp motherf***ing wit. And in the name of snack, I will use it.

Let thy (SnackBlog's) will be done.

The Delicious Snack-Blog Staff

Name:

Eugene, aka, Snackblog

Age:
You don't need to know.

Sex:
Male

Favorite fancy food:
Beef Carpaccio

Favorite cheap food:
A good hot link, or a good carne asada taco. Can't decide.

Favorite fruit:
White peach

Favorite mid-tier drink:
Ocean Spray Cran-Raspberry

Favorite snacks to eat on a sunny, relaxed day:
Adina Mojita and Haribo Gold-Bears (from the Spanish factory).

Favorite really late night study snacks:
65% Chocolove or 70% Scharffen Berger chocolate bar, Pepperoni Pizza Croissant Pocket garnished with homemade habenero seasoning, and Fukola.

Favorite snack to eat when I'm intensely hungry for something super sweet and fattening: Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. Hands down the best binge, comfort, and break-up snack in existence.

Snack specialty: Sodas



Name:
Eric Hesson

Age:
19

Sex:
Mmale

Favorite fancy food:
A really good burrito

Favorite cheap food:
A really cheap burrito

Favorite fruit:
Avocado? Mango? Raspberries are great. Clementines too.

Favorite mid-tier soda:
Coke (with a healthy dose of whiskey for flavor)

Favorite supercheap drunk food:
A bunch of chicken sandwiches from Jack in the Box

Favorite fictional snack:
Cows, the candy bar (dark and white chocolate splotches on the outside so it looks like a cow, a layer of brownie on the top and bottom, followed by a layer of dark chocolate, and fudge in the very middle. also there are strawberry cows and caramel cows with that stuff in the middle instead of fudge).

Favorite beverages:
ginseng cola, any good juice (especially ones with a lot of pulp), a rich man's urine

Snack Specialty:
Things that start with the letter "T"



Name:
Alex Burke

Age:
19

Sex:
female

Favorite fancy food:
fromage [from FRANCE]

Favorite cheap food:
bagelwich, bageldog

Favorite fruit:
clementine

Favorite mid-tier soda:
canada dry tonic

Favorite aphrodisiac:
tiger penis

Favorite late-night snack:
Tylenol PM

Favorite breakfast meat:
haggis

Snack specialty:
Rootbeer


Name: Berdin

Age:
19

Sex:
M

Favorite fruit:
Rambutan

Favorite mid-tier drink:
Cactus Cooler

Favorite Snack to eat with a cute girl (like my sister, maybe):
Pocky

Favorite Snack to eat when watching a movie, or doing something that will leave hands fairly clean or not too dirty (playing guitar or computer):
Popcorn, popped from a pot with salt , NO BUTTER or those Butter Cookies from Denmark that come in a tin

Favorite Snack to eat to gross people out and to show that I am xXxtreme and oFf teH Hook:
The Durian

Snack specialty:
Fruit. Soon, insects and exotics.




Name:
Katie, aka, Mrs. Snackblog

Age:
Legal

Sex:
Female

Favorite fancy food:
Lobster Ravioli

Favorite cheap food:
Hostess Powdered Donuts + White Cheddar Cheez-Its, Chicken Pot Pie style

Favorite fruit:
Wawona Frozen Peaches

Favorite mid-tier beverage:
Gatorade Extremo Mango Electrico

Favorite birthday cake:
Pistachio Bunt Cake with Powdered Sugar on top

Favorite study/break-up/bad hair day/pms-ing/anything shitty food:
Cookie Dough

Favorite topping:
Whipped Cream

Snack Specialty:
Baked Goods




Name:
Alexis

Age:
19

Sex:
me

Favorite fancy food:
Crème Brûlée. even the spelling is fancy.

Favorite cheap food:
tamales from the quickie-mart (perversely satisfying)

Favorite fruit:
strawberries

Favorite mid-tier drink:
Wine. Big House Red.

In front of the computer:
dried, unsulphered fruits like mangos, pears, and apricots

Midnight under the harvest moon:
raw flesh (preferably of the goat variety, but i'm not picky)

Porter dining hall:
not much; however, those chocolate chip cookies with enough grease to turn napkins translucent are pretty damn tasty.




Positions of Power:

Executive Editor: Eugene
Writers: Eugene, Alexis, Alex, Berdin, Eric Hesson
Copy Editors: Alexis, Katie