The Best Macaroni and Cheese

Written by Snackblog

Before I get around to unveiling the best macaroni and cheese, I need to talk about something very important, and it's not just important to me, but to all of you too. All of you reading this very blog. So, a couple of people at most.


Fork.
A short, unfinished story by Eric Hesson (not me)

When I was in Prague last June, I was kidnapped by the local militia and forced into slavery for eight weeks. Every day, twice a day, we were fed the same meal: the bloody uncooked fragments of leftover animal parts not eaten by the guards. They were covered in filth, having sat idly on the insect-ridden ground for hours, and most of them contained all sorts of bacterious diseases. I thought I would never encounter any edible item more grotesque and detestable than that. I was wrong...




Ok, say you had this alien, whose feces happened to be macaroni shaped, and you collect a bowl of it. And then you take those feces, and put them into a cannon of sorts. And then you take some kid with sh** for brains whose body fluid is all disgustingly yellow like that creepy guy in Sin City. Oh, I mean sh** for brains in a very literal sense. The omni-yellow stinky kid has yellow sh**, sitting, in, his, skull.

So, you've got the cannon stuffed with macaroni shaped feces at point A, and at point B, you've got the yellow kid. Then, the cannon is fired from point A, sending the feces projectile towards point B (it's going really, really fast), right into the yellow kid's sh** filled skull. The macaroni shaped feces don't have enough momentum to carry out the back of the skull, so instead they slosh around with the yellow sh**.





Anyway, the best macaroni and cheese is Annie's Shells and Cheddar, Shells and White Cheddar, and Mild Mexican Shells and Cheddar. All of them. They are all delicious, especially the Mild Mexican Shells and Cheddar, which actually has a decent amount of spiciness, especially for a "mild". But, not everyone likes spicy food, so I'm just giving all three the award, and I'll be calling them the Annie's Trinity from now on. A three in one kind of deal, so this one title can apply to all of them, but they're really three different entities.


The key factor in Annie's winning this, is that the Annie's brand of mac and cheese actually tastes like real cheese. It's amazing, and delicious. The real cheese along with the shells is incredible. Because, the shell-like shape of the pasta causes the cheese to clump up within the pasta, causing tiny, incredible cheese explosions in your mouth with every chew. Yes, I know these shells aren't technically macaroni, but I don't care. This stuff is delicious, and it's the best macaroni, ever. Just make sure to cook it with a good amount of butter, and please use milk, not watery water. Soy milk works well too.


Where you can find the Annie's Trinity:
- Almost anywhere. They're even at my local Longs Drugs.
- The Mild Mexican Shells and Cheddar are much harder to find than the other two. Try smaller groceries that tend to stock a lot of organic items.


TV on the Radio - Blues From Down Here